I’m just a lowly citizen who some would call “liberal” which means my view of the world is probably tainted by poorly researched Gawker gossip, Daily Show sketches and New York Times’ apocalyptic pieces about back yard chickens and peak oil.

However, I can’t help but stick out my unobtrusive and politically-challenged nose and protest, rather irritably, about the latest buzz on this whole healthcare reform thing. I mean, can it be true? Can a public option ACTUALLY be off the table? Please excuse my occasional all-caps cyber scream, but I’m just not understanding how removing the public option is going to turn whatever it is you’re mulling over into actual reform.

Look, please forgive me if I seem clueless about your decision-making process. I fully admit that I don’t give a rat’s ass that private insurers won’t be able to compete with a public option. I have no love for them. As a self-employed person who is grossly under-insured, I pay $600/month in healthcare premiums for the privilege of buying into a high-deductible family plan – one that requires me to pay out $5600 annually before I see any benefits at all. So I may be a wee, tad biased.

And it may be my own paranoia, possibly but not definitively, spurred on by PMS, that you seem to be talking about me while I’m in the room, but the thing is that my family and I probably qualify as among those statistically relevant Americans who are decidely FUCKED if we need any medical care.

And since we appear to be sitting on a fast-moving train without an engine, careening towards a cliff where the tracks are bent and broken and my healthcare coverage is the hand break that snaps off when you try to yank it back, I kind of feel like I should have a say in the matter. But instead feel like I’m just standing there staring at the broken piece of metal in a hand that now needs medical attention, and contemplating the chances that my kids and my husband can JUMP from the train without too much damage, because our health coverage sure as hell isn’t good enough to repair broken bones, much less anything more serious.

I don’t mean to go on and on about this, but can you or somebody explain why oh WHY you’re even entertaining the town-hall crazies who are afraid of socialism, and bending to the will of the free fucking market? Health insurance companies don’t care about you, Mr. President. Screw them! Let’s talk legacy here – a public option will seal your legacy forever! You will have accomplished something no other president was able to do – and save a lot of lives in the process. Be bold! Be presidential! Go all the way – I’m not just talking public option here, I’m talking single payer! THERE, I’VE SAID IT!

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. I mean, this guy seems to have a really logical solution. Let us buy into Medicare. Would that work? Can’t doctors opt out of Medicare? Should I pretend to know what I’m talking about? Okay, I won’t…

I’m just feeling a little bit under-represented right now, and you’ll have to forgive me because I have a headache that’s been bothering me for three years and I don’t want to shell out the cash to see a specialist – but I really wonder if you or anyone else in Congress can actually relate to me and the masses of people who are on this runaway healthcare train. YOU all have insurance, and money, and actual options. If your leg falls off, someone will run up with a suitcase full of extra legs for you to choose from. If mine falls off, I have the option of cutting off the remaining leg and selling it so I can pay for the leg-removal surgery.

IT’S JUST NOT FAIR! I’M TIRED OF IT BEING SO NOT FAIR!

I’m stomping my feet, and rolling my eyes and hoping you hear me and the fifty million other people who are holding our breath and begging that the idea of dropping the public option is all a big, fat bluff. Me and my 57 cavities are waiting expectantly. Don’t let us down.