I’m tired of laundry. I’m tired of the dirty basement, and the washing machine that doesn’t drain correctly so that all the clothes are sitting in 4 inches of FREEZING water ALL the time, even when I give them an extra spin.

I’m tired of the cement blocks the washing machine sits on, making it slightly too high for my very short arms to comfortably…reach.

I’m tired of the multi-level laundry obstacle course I must make each day to get clean clothes into everyone’s drawers. The dirty clothes are piled up on the second floor, the washing machine and dryer is in the basement and the main floor is where I stop to rest and fold before bringing the clean clothes back to the second floor (where I started the whole process in the first place.)

I don’t wanna do it anymore! I feel like the soup Nazi from Seinfeld.

NO SOCKS FOR YOU! YOU SHALL ALL GO BAREFOOT UNTIL YOU START DOING YOUR OWN LAUNDRY!

And while I’m putting all this PMS laundry-induced angst out into the void. I have a few more disgruntled comments to my family at large.

To my children:

  • Fine, don’t take a shower. I really don’t care if you’re the smelly kid at school.
  • Get off of me. GET OFF OF ME.
  • Fine, don’t eat that or that or that. (mmmfffllaagghhhhhh – the sound of me eating it)
  • WOULD YOU STOP WHINING?? I AM NOT YELLING. AM NOTTTTT!!!

    • 2 seconds lator…

  • *sobbing* mommy’s sorry

To my husband:

  • I know I already said this, but…NO SOCKS FOR YOU
  • MOVE THE WASHING MACHINE UPSTAIRS
  • SHRIEK SHRIEK SHRIEKETY SHRIEK!!!

2 seconds later…

  • *sobbing* I’m sorry. Yes, some chocolate would be lovely.