PMS and the workday don’t mix. I fully admit this. If you happen to work with me in some way shape or form during this volatile time of the month, my sincerest (and I do mean SINCEREST) apologies. I thought it’d be kind of fun to illustrate some of my classic reactions to work-related issues with and without PMS.

SITUATION

I’m one-day late with a deliverable, although in my defense I had two days off in the last week AND got three other things out to the client on short notice. The client says nothing about what I’ve managed to accomplish, and sends me a one-line e-mail pointing out the missed deadline while stating I must try to do better.

Without PMS:

I apologize politely and promise to have the item out to the client first thing in the morning, which requires I work until midnight that night. No problem, I’m all about customer service!

With PMS:

I write a venomous email filled with defensiveness and ire only to promptly delete it and write another, only to delete that. The email I finally send out is riddled with typos and makes no sense and sounds somewhat like one long shriek as such, “Apologies for not respnding sooner but I was in the process of completing your third deliverable fo rht eweek and for the future any time I provide you with a deadline please add three more days to the final due date.”

SITUATION

The phone rings at 10:05 a.m. as I’m frantically finishing up a report for an 11:00 a.m. call.

Without PMS:

I answer the phone on full alert, take studious notes and promise to follow-up with whoever called as soon as I’m done with my call.

With PMS:

I glare at the phone and ultimately answer it, my voice riddled with thinly masked hostility. The moment I say “hello?” I regret the action of answering the phone, and promptly feel justified in treating whoever has called like a thoughtless, productivity-sapping saboteur.

SITUATION

It’s 4:55 p.m. I’m exhausted, loaded up on caffeine and my head is throbbing with a hormonally-induced headache. The presentation I sent off to a colleague an hour ago – the one that’s due to the client by tomorrow at 9:00 a.m., comes back to me with four hours worth of changes.

Without PMS:

I scream, “THAT FUCKER!!” get more coffee and get the work done.

With PMS:

I scream, “THAT FUCKER!!” send the report back to my colleague with a curt email explaining that I’m unavailable for the rest of the evening, and get drunk.