After a day of feeling frazzled, high strung, stressed out and grumpy, I finally took a couple of Pamprin and locked myself in my bedroom with the lights off and ear plugs in (to keep the cries of the children at bay).

As I lay there in the dark, during the dinner hour feeling sorry for myself that I was in such a state of PMS angst I couldn’t even enjoy time with my kids after not seeing them all day, I thought about the very nature of Pamprin vs. a few minutes alone in a dark room and decided a few minutes to myself was probably working a lot more in my favor than the Pamprin.

Lies, Damned Lies.

Pamprin PMS (the version my husband quietly purchased for me three months ago) contains a pain reliever, an antihistamine and a diuretic (for relieving bloating) so how the hell does that stave off the grumpiness of PMS? Here’s a list of symptoms directly off the Pamprin (Multi-Symptom) label:

• cramps
• headaches
• bloating
• backaches
• water-weight gain
• muscular aches
• irritability

Irritability? Really? Which one of the three drugs Pamprin is actually indicated for helps relieve irritability? WHICH ONE, DAMNIT?? Is it really as simple as popping a couple of over-the-counter tablets once a month? I mean, if that was the case think of all the marketing opportunities for this drug! Why not make a Pamprin Road Rage, or a Pamprin Holiday Stress Reliever and stick a nice antihistamine and some irritable bowel medication in there for added multi-symptom relief?

I took my dose of Pamprin over an hour ago and admittedly I feel a bit less stuffy and my headache has disappeared. Unfortunately I’m still as bitchy as ever.